Customer Reviews
it helped me move forward - By: book lover, 23 Sep 2008 
I started reading this book about 4 months after finding out that my husband had had an affair with what I thought was my best friend. I wish I had had it at hand during those first horrendous weeks after discovery, when alll I did was cry, think I was going crazy & upset the kids.
This book gives you advice on how to get through that initial hurricane & it shows you that what you are going through, thinking, feeling etc. is completely normal (I actuallly read it with a highlighter pen in my hand, highlighting alll the paragraphs that applied to us).
It helps you to understand the reasons why your other half had an affair, & simply how to act around him or her when you don't know whether to kiss or punch this person!
Next it gives positive, constructive advice on how to make your relationship work again & how to strengthen it.
Five months after discovery my husband & I actuallly reached what appeared to be a dead end. We got past that through lots of positive thinking, counting our blessings & thanks to the positive message of this book.
If you are going through what I just went through, don't go it alone. Get alll the help you can get, & read about it so you can make some sense of what appears to be incomprehensible. Good luck.
Buy it! It's the only book you will need - By: Dee, 27 Jul 2007 If, like I was, you are searching for help in the aftermath of infidelity, PLEASE buy this book. It's the only one you'll need. (I wasted money on several others that I haven't even opened). It is comprehensive & has obviously been written by a very experienced individual with appropriate qualifications, which makes the advice easier to take. (Even better, it hasn't got "ADULTERY" or "INFIDELITY" in big letters across the cover, which I reallly appreciated when reading in public!)
My partner & I used it in different ways - I read it from front to back but he took more of a "dip in/dip out" approach. Both of us felt that it was like receiving free counselling / therapy with the added advantage of taking things at our own pace in our own home. We spent considerable time reading alone & gained clarity at a confusing time. It is articulately & logicallly presented and, as a result, you can quote the author, using the ideas as a springboard for discussions.
It also considers the feelings & motivations of each of the three people in the relationship "triangle". This helps you to gain greater understanding & to make sense of the suituation as a whole whilst focussing on how you can move forward at a steady pace.
There are some practical ideas & examples of survivors' stories for those who choose to part but this book has mainly been written for couples who stay together & rebuild a stronger relationship. Unfortunately, you don't know where you are going to end up when you embark on the journey, which is why a comprehensive book is necessary.
