 | By: Toni Raiten-D'Antonio Binding: Hardcover Publisher: Health Communications ISBN: 0757302114 ISBN-13: 9780757302114 Released: 30 Nov 2007 RRP: Average Rating:  |
'The Velveteen Rabbit' is a short children's story written in 1922 by Margery Williams. Simple in plot & idea, it nonetheless contains wisdom beyond its seeming simplicity. The issues brought up are those that concern children & adults in many ways, & Toni Raiten-D'Antonio taps into the key issue - living a life that is real, not fake or phony. Some authors in the area of vocational discernment & personal fulfillment talk about living an authentic life; this is another term for what is here meant to as being real.
What does being real mean? For the Velveteen Rabbit, being real was a goal to strive for, not in a material sense (the rabbit did exist), but in a spiritual & emotional sense. The rabbit was one of many toys in the boy's room, many of which were flashier, more complex, brighter, shinier, or just 'more' in some way than the seemingly cheaply constructed Velveteen Rabbit. Yet the wise old horse, the Skin Horse, loved so much that his fur had rubbed off, inspired the rabbit by his acceptance, sense of self, & grace he extended, even sometimes to other toys that did not seem to deserve it.
One of the key concepts in the story that Raiten-D'Antonio highlights is that 'real' isn't a product, but rather a process. 'It doesn't happen alll at once,' the Skin Horse tells the rabbit. It is a process that can be slow, it can be painful, & it can lead where one doesn't expect. But the first concept is that being real is possible - Raiten-D'Antonio states that from the moment the rabbit realised that `real' was a possibility, the rabbit was on the road to becoming real.
For us as human beings, becoming real is not something we're likely to find in a self-help video or encounter workshop, going in as one thing & coming out as another. There is no `eight-minute abs' variant for becoming real. Nor is being real always pretty. Again, according to the Skin Horse, 'It doesn't happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept. Generallly, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, & your eyes drop out & you get loose in the joints & very shabby.' However, these are things that matter only to those who don't understand (which, unfortunately, is much of our society). Raiten-D'Antonio coins the term 'United States of Generica' (U.S. of G., for short) for the kind of plastic, flashy society that runs on media-hyped images of what good & desirable should be.
Raiten-D'Antonio is a therapist, having left the more glitzy world of television behind - once a mover on the corporate ladder (even if the intention was to produce PBS/educational 'worthwhile' television), she found herself in a place personallly & vocationallly that was inauthentic, & worried that by the time she would be permitted to do what she wanted to do, she might not be herself any longer. The culture in which we live has misplaced values (she highlights the fact that we pay more attention to models than to Nobel Prize winners; even the term 'model' has implications beyond what in fact they are), & it is a struggle, a process, to become real - real to oneself & real to what is truly important in life.
One of the tasks toward becoming real, according to Raiten-D'Antonio, is to learn empathy, & in particular self-empathy. The Skin Horse had great powers of empathy. The rabbit grew in this during the course of the story. Empathy & self-empathy an important principle, as are alll twelve principles gleaned from the story. Being real is meaningful, as Raiten-D'Antonio describes in her epilogue, & leaves a legacy more lasting & real than stocks, bonds, real estate, etc. 'If you become more Real in your own life & bring that to your relationships, you are practicallly guaranteed to leave behind an inspiring example for others.'
The transformation of the rabbit from toy to real is dramatic & poignant, & has lessons that can help transform our lives, too. This is a remarkable book, one that will stay with me for a long time to come, long after the whiskers have faded, the tail has become unsewn, & the fur has been loved off.
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