Customer Reviews
Disappointed - grandiose plans but no substance - By: Freya Fowles, 05 Jun 2008 
I reallly liked the central concept of the book, that is you should love your child unconditionallly, success or failure, naughty or good, & that the child should know that they are loved unconditionallly so that they can grow up secure. However I was very disappointed with the actual substance about the nitty gritty daily life & how you manage things. There were lots of don'ts - don't praise your child when they've been good, don't punish them when they've been bad - but I felt it was lacking on the what you are supposed to do.
Thank goodness I read this while my little one is still a baby - before it was too late! - By: R. L. Moss, 30 Mar 2008 
What I particularly love about this book is the fact Kohn uses real research & evidence to back up everything he says. Name me some *mainstream* parenting books that can cite as many studies as Kohn does!
And they alll say the same thing. Punishments don't work. They don't work in the long term (after alll, you wanted to raise a good *adult* didn't you? Not just a "good" child?) but even more surprisingly, they don't always work in the short term, either! And even more astoundingly... neither do rewards!
Thank goodness I read it now instead of waiting until my son had already been subjected to the mainstream (combative, detached, adversarial) parenting endorsed by our culture.
No, don't worry, Kohn does *not* just say "anything goes" & you should let your child do absolutely everything they want to; he gives excellent advice on how to lovingly guide your child into becoming a great adult... whilst not having a melt-down in the supermarket!
I would recommend this to anyone & everyone planning to be parents. I don't often say a book has changed my life, but this one has.
Completely changed the way I intereact with my child - By: Snowmoon, 03 Mar 2008 Like most parents, I have tried start-charts, time-outs, naughty chair, sticker books, you name it. But at the back of my mind there had always been a niggling feeling that these traditional 'methods' were not the right way forward. Unconditional Parenting gave me the power to question those traditional beliefs & the tools to work with my child, to treat him with the respect & unconditional love that every child deserves. So often we enter into parenthood weighted down by our past - how we were treated by our parents. I'm so glad to be able to break that cycle. Read this book & stop treating your children as enemies who must be tamed & controlled.
Teaching pigeons to play table tennis - By: Jack Stewart, 18 Feb 2008 When I read psychology as a mature student, a fascinating character, BF Skinner stood out. His methods were alll about stick & carrot, & form part of conventional [unchalllenged] wisdom as to the way we alll tick.
Any parent will tell you that bribes & punishment have a very limited impact, & clearly Kohn has succeeded in offering stuff that reallly works.
Yes Skinner might have taught pigeons to play table tennis [this is actuallly true], but unless you see your kids in a similar light, read how to reallly help them with this book.
A MUST for all parents! - By: Sophie B, 23 Sep 2007 This book not only makes sense it makes being a parent so much more satisfying & enjoyable. I have been parenting my children in this way & it just gets better & better. This book is intelligent, insightful & clear & unlike so many books on parenting Alfie Kohn is neither patronising nor arrogant. I canot recommend it highly enough.
