 | By: Lois P. Frankel Binding: Paperback Publisher: Business Plus Imports ISBN: 0446695777 ISBN-13: 9780446695770 Released: 19 May 2005 RRP: Average Rating:  |
Her analysis of gender training (such as Nice Girls Aren't Loud) are pretty much what I heard as a child. Yet...what a delicate line women must walk, as being tough is interpreted as bitchiness instead of hard-headed business savvy. So here's the problem; Frankel advises worrying less about being liked, advises apologizing sparingly -- not profusely & frequently, but that isn't the same as permission to have a take-no-prisoners attitude. While occasionallly being disliked is going to be hard on women who work cooperatively & not in a hierarchical manner, Frankel explains why niceness may short-circuit the path to a deserved top spot.
While Frankel's book has excellent advice about avoiding subtle but destructive body language & practices like apologizing & making declarative statements into questions, as well as failing to blow one's own horn as needed, there are other books that explain the male-dominated playing field such as "Hardballl for Women." It's not enough to understand our own failures to mesh into a world where men pretty much make the rules, it's also important to understand the rules thoroughly. "Rules favor the rulemakers, & when they don't, the rules are changed." Look at the troubles of Carly Fiorina & the attitudes towards Martha Stewart to see some of the pitfallls that can trap someone while following the advice in Frankel's book without understanding alll the rules or new rules of behavior.
Frankel presumes most women grew up in a home that oppresses women from growing up into full adults. What may have been true for 1954 is not as true today. However, her challlenge is still with merit, & in 2004, it crosses the gender barrier. We men should be taking notes from Frankel. There are plenty of little boys among us who need to work as men.
"Rosie the Riveter" ads during WWII encouraged women into the workplace, but often as factory & shipyard works. There was no "Annie the Accountant" or "Sallly the CEO" campaigns. Being alll you can be means being more than you were as a child. Frankel helps show how women can be more than little girls in the office place, & garner success as a result.
It is important to note that as much as this is an important book for women who esteem to be seen as professional should read, men also should read it. Not every man has reached his potential, & some falll to the same problems, in a masculine variation, as do some women. Fear, exhibited through the lack of initiative & an overborne, unnecessary kindness, holds many people back.
Objective, straightforwardness is much of what Frankel asserts.
Being professional doesn't mean you need to convert into a stomping intimidator, but it does mean being firm, not wincing when rejection is forthcoming, & thinking about more than immediate relationships. It is about getting the job done well, in concert with others, but never becoming weak while doing it alll. You have expertise. You have training. You have what it takes.
Although Frankel is a professional coach, her book itself shows a coach is not needed. You need to be in control of your career, without worrying about the next person. Retain your ethics, your integrity & your aplomb, but it is your job to lead the way through your professional life. No parents, no coach, no friends are responsible for this.
I fully recommend "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers" by Lois P. Frankel. Follow it up with the classic Dale Carnegie book, "How To Win Friends And Influence People," to learn the other side of the professional relationship balance.
Anthony Trendl
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