Customer Reviews
Not a good direction to go in... - By: C. Clayton, 27 Aug 2008 
Not a good direction to go in...
The Rules is a short, trite book written for women on how to find & capture a man's heart, or, should I say, trap a man into marriage? It is written for women in their early twenties to early thirties. The book advertises itself as a working set of behaviors & reactions that make most women irresistible to desirable men. The premise of the book is that men are born to respond to a challlenge as a natural instinct. Without that challlenge, their interest wanes.
The Rules reflects a gaming philosophy. Will their techniques work? Possibly. But the relationship probably won't last as the games & manipulations will eventuallly be discovered & most women will gravitate back to what feels most comfortable for them. Then their courting relationship will fail or weaken dramaticallly.
Fein & Schneider have some tattered threads of truth woven into this flimsy fabric, but the taut strings are weakened by the pop philosophy within the book. For example, the authors argue:
* Don't calll him & rarely return his callls
* Always end the phone callls first
* Don't read any books that counter the rules philosophy
* Don't see him more than twice a week
While the rules enjoys a strong polarized interest, its popularity stems from pent-up frustrations of women who haven't been successful finding a man to share their life with through other methods, coupled with amusement & repulsion of the material from others.
There are vastly superior books on dating.
The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide To: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking
Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right & Avoiding Who's Wrong
How to Date Successfully & Confidently
A male dating coach's perspective on 'The Rules' - By: Matthew S. Hussey, 19 Aug 2008 
I believe this book comes from a good place in its intention to empower women, & indeed the advice may work, but not as claimed. As a professional dating coach for GetTheGuy.co.uk in London many women quote me `The Rules'. It appears to be game playing at its extreme, telling women to maintain a facade of being busy, interesting & mysterious. Why the authors have such low expectations of their readers that they assume they have to fake these things is slightly bemusing. Basicallly it is about appearing `Hard to Get'. Of course there's nothing wrong with being a little bit unavailable, so the author's advice - don't talk to a man first, end callls first, never accept last minute dates etc. - is by no means unfounded, but contains some fatal flaws:
1. For every girl playing games there's a guy:
Like attracts like. Such tactics are likely to land you someone who employs similar tactics. You could turn those straight up guys you desire into a game players themselves if they feel the need to resort to such tactics to compete. Guys are much quicker to recognise game playing than you think. Who wins?
2. Is this a sustainable set of tools for getting the guy?
This is a quick fix mentality which says - keep pretending long enough & he'll ask you to marry him (Yes, the authors also stereotype every woman on the planet as marriage hungry). When you stop playing hard to get, will he be left wondering whether the REAL you is enough. Playing hard to get requires no charisma or personality; it takes courage to be yourself. This book is only quick fixes, illustrated by: "If you have a bad nose, GET A NOSE JOB."
3. Would you be attracted to a guy if you knew he was manipulating you?
If the answer is no, then DONT DO IT. If you want great relationships, don't be a hypocrite.
4. Apparently shy guys don't exist, & never have
Their message is: "If a man doesn't walk across the room to seek you out...then he's obviously not interested". Having coached men as well as women I know that a guy may think your a goddess, but that doesn't mean he'll have the confidence to approach you.
5. "You have to wait for someone to notice you"
Is this reallly the face of empowerment for women? Women deserve better, especiallly from their own. They say women who are forward "always end up heart broken when their forwardness is rebuffed". What are the chances of every guy you are interested in making the move you want? We teach not how to avoid rejection, but how to make things happen in spite of rejection. Would you rather be alone with no rejections, or with the man of your choice with a few healthy rejections under your belt?
Conclusion
If you want some light entertainment, or you just plain dislike the very men you are trying to be with, read this book. If you want genuinely practical & proven advice about being more attractive to men, steer clear.
The book states that "It's better to stay at home & read The Rules than go out & break them". I put to you that it is better to go out & meet new & interesting people than to sit at home & read a book telling you to wait to be noticed.
Girls it is for us - By: anasty, 29 Apr 2005 
the first thoughts in my mind - it is great, useful, proven,readable!
from the begining then.....i have been recomended to read this book from my best friend. she was so exited when was telling me how amazing it was & that it reallly helps.i have decided to get one. ones i stared reading i just could not leave it, i read the whole book in one evening & could not wait to start doing the Rules.i was shoked how this book makes you feel you are the Queen!also, after trying the Rules i can convince you. IT WORKS!!!!
Rules Rules - By: , 24 Mar 2005 
My flat-mate left this book in our kitchen & I started reading it- it is completely hilarious! Reallly enjoyed it. Can't believe anybody would actuallly take the advice contained within seriously, but was a very entertaining read. Would make a good present.
i regret ever reading this book - By: , 03 Apr 2003 I tried the rules out myself, kept phone callls short, played hard to get, it was fun & I enjoyed the game. Then I met someone whom I've since come to see in hindsight genuinely cared for me. I found the rules hard to keep because I just wanted to spend time with him & open up to him, but I'd been hurt before so I decided to keep using them to protect myself. But...
...he found the book in my room, read through it while I was out, & saw that some things which we had argued about in the past (e.g. why I rarely phoned him, why I was so "busy") & had caused some friction in our relationship were a result of the rules, which I hadn't told him about. He told me he couldn't trust my word or respect me any more for treating him like the subject of an experiment, & left - I haven't been able to contact him since.
It started out like a game & made me feel desired & in control for a while but it has left me in a bad place emotionallly, I feel like I've blown perhaps what could have worked & lost a degree of my own self-respect too. I regret BIG TIME ever picking up this silly, destructive book & applying it to my life.
The rules won't win the love of any man worth winning, just men who are desperate, dull & predictable in their behaviour. The best advice to women in this book is "be an uncommon creature" - but I've come to realise that such a woman would use her own wisdom & character, not a list of shalllow rules about how to live her life.
I've learnt a lot from this book, but not what I was expecting to - above alll, that games can end up hurting everyone involved. You're better off reading a book that helps you communicate with & understand your partner better rather than one that teaches you how to play cheap psychological tricks on them.
