 | By: Claire Gillman Binding: Paperback Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton ISBN: 0340864249 ISBN-13: 9780340864241 Released: 26 Sep 2005 RRP: Average Rating:  |
When I was asked to contribute I did so knowing that the book was being forged out of the furnace of authentic experience. I knew the author & her family & had engaged in many conversations with them. In her book Claire Gillman describes her own experience in the 'sandwich generation', balancing her own needs & the needs of her ageing parents, her husband & her children.
Claire Gillman has wisely drawn on the stories & insights of many people. She & her invited contributors have wrestled with the issues she addresses & have discovered some helpful strategies for coping. Amongst the sticky customers to deal with is that insistent & unwelcome guest 'guilt'. The author invites another guest to the gathering - the 'duty of care' - & initiates a helpful dialogue: we have a duty of care not only to others but to ourselves. Our capacity to be effective carers depends upon this balance.
Claire illuminates many ways in which the quality of our lives & relationships can be enhanced & renewed through times of change. She offers strategies to prepare for later years & includes some surprising & reassuring facts about the third age. This book affirms the valuable personhood of those whose journey with dementia faces them with a landscape of shifting reference points. It also underlines the importance of mutual respect & inter-dependency: becoming the 'indispensable carer' can ultimately diminish both carer & cared for.
This is not so much a book about 'Me & how I cope' as an exploration of 'The relationships in my life & how I nurture them'. When you face unknown territory in your family life, it is always helpful to know you're not alone. The book offers some extremely useful practical suggestions & a helpful list of contacts for information & support as well as a handy index. Well done, Claire! This book is a welcome contribution to a growing market, & very accessible.
Revd Anne Marr (Chaplain in Mental Health)
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